A lot of my friends - mixed races - like going to drum circles. They take place outdoors and consist of people from the community showing up with drums (mostly djembes; African-derived hand drums), and drumming while others dance inside the circle. Most of the attendees - probably from 60% to 80% - are white. Every time I go, everyone else seems to be having a great time, getting “lost” in the music or whatever, but I just can’t get over my discomfort. They don’t understand why I can’t have fun - most of them are socially and politically conscious, they enjoy drums, they enjoy dancing, they have anti-oppressive politics, so what’s wrong with that?
And I can’t come up with any good responses. It just feels wrong in my gut. I feel like they’re romanticizing the idea of “tribal culture” or something, or that they just want a sense of “tribal community” - but again, as they point out, even if that’s the case - what’s wrong with that? When white culture is increasingly shallow and consumerist, what’s wrong with them trying to infuse their lives with something that feels physically, mentally, and maybe spiritually invigorating? They’re good people, and most of them are culturally aware. I’m not sure that they are directly ripping off anything. So I don’t know why I can’t just get over it.
I feel like if they’re going to have a drum circle, they ought to pay some kind of dues to indigenous cultures - but how, who do you credit drums to? And even if they all started standing in solidarity at Native road blockades for land rights, I still wouldn’t feel comfortable at drum circles. I’m white, and maybe this discomfort is just overdeveloped white guilt or something, but when I see these drum circles I can’t help comparing them to powwows back in my hometown and I just feel sick inside.
I’m also worried that I might be totally racist - that all I really want is to feel like I’m at something “culturally authentic”, which would explain why I don’t feel uncomfortable at Native powwows. Of course, I don’t feel like I “belong”, since I don’t, but at least I don’t feel nauseous.
